


Reassurance

by wth_am_i_writing



Series: Trust-verse Collaboration [5]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Side Story, sequel of a sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-27 07:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: You knew it was irrational, but most fears were.





	Reassurance

**Author's Note:**

> Originally Posted on Tumblr on October 2, 2014.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: Thesis has been kicking my butt~ I decided to procrastinate a little by writing this over a couple days. Lately I’ve kinda wanted to illustrate the kinda deep passion N and Leader have in their relationship in Trust, but also wanted to highlight Leader’s fears going forward in the relationship. This was the result. I do feel like I’m beating a dead horse with this but eh, oh well. I hope you enjoy~

“Are you sure you’re happy without kids?” you forced past your lips as soon as the door to your room was closed. N froze, halfway to the bathroom and shirt half pulled over his head. He dropped it back down and turned to look at you with a puzzled expression.

“Is this about the twins?” N asked cautiously, expression turning concerned. You opened your mouth to deny it, but couldn’t make the words come for the lump in your throat and turned away instead, crossing your arms over your stomach. Catcher had just come back to HQ with her and Ken’s newborn twins. There’d been a short welcome party to allow any members that hadn’t been able to visits while they were still in the hospital to see the babies (“Just bring them in all at once so they can leave us the hell alone for the next few weeks,” Catcher had said when she’d suggested the idea).

You’d gone out of politeness, having already gone to visit them at the clinic, and awkwardly refused when Ken asked if you’d like to hold one of the girls. N, however, was overly eager to meet the girls, and when he wasn’t playing with Ken’s children, he was playing with Leo’s (who were also excited to meet the babies). Seyoon and Sara had grown like weeds, but seeing N dote on them still caused your stomach to do flips. Over the years, the guilt over giving Seyoon up varied in intensity, but it always weighed at the back of your mind. It was the root of your continued occasional nightmares, the root of two of your largest fears: that Seyoon would resent you and that N would start a family with someone else.

The latter was an irrational fear, you _knew,_ but it still seemed plausible. It would only take a single misstep in bed with whoever he was sleeping with for work. You weren’t a fool–it happened no matter how careful people were. It had been a fear that had grown over the years of watching N interact with Seyoon. Somehow your fear of Seyoon resenting you had extended to a fear that N would grow to resent you too. Afterall, he was the type that would relentlessly chase what he wanted.

“You’re thinking irrational things again aren’t you?” N scolded, fingers catching your jaw, the touch pulling you out of your thoughts. You turned to look up at him and he leaned down to catch your lips in a kiss, his hands sliding up to gently cup your face. You leaned into the touch of his lips but he kept the kiss shallow. When he pulled back, he met your eyes.

“We already _have_ a son, and there’s more than enough babies around HQ as it is,” he asserted, keeping his tone gentle and loving. “Our boy’s growing like a weed right in front of us. He’s already starting school and–” N broke off into a pause, obviously trying to gather his thoughts. He caught your lips in another brief kiss before continuing, voice more serious as he looked you in the eye. “I knew being with you meant sacrificing certain things, both when I realized I loved you _and_ when I begged you to take me back.” He pulled you in for another, deeper, kiss before softening his knees and lowering down, hands tracing down your arms. He pressed his forehead to your forearms on your stomach.

“Seyoon being born was _more_ than I ever expected. I was upset when I found out but,” he took a sharp breath, squeezing your arms, “I was never upset enough to want to stop being with you. The only reason you ever considered having children in the first place was because of me and–” N cut himself short, guilt clear on his tone, jarring you. You clenched your shirt, taking in a shaky breath. Of course he was aware of that–he wasn’t stupid. But you’d gone through with having Seyoon for your own selfish reasons, which had always been hard to admit. You hoped he’d realized that too. “We both messed up and we have to live with the mess we made. We’ve both suffered enough. The situation isn’t ideal but I’m _happy_. I’m by your side, and that’s what’s most important to me, not having children.”

“And what if you get another woman pregnant?” you asked, finally managing to get your voice out despite it trembling, admitting your fear for the first time. N pulled back and looked up at you, eyes hard.

“I’ll send them to Hongbin. They’re not you and Seyoon’s enough.” N’s words were firm, determined.

“You’re sure?”

“I wouldn’t have gotten back together with you if I wasn’t,” he asserted, sliding his hands down to your thighs and pressing the side of his head to you. You uncrossed your arms and ran your hand through his hair. The knots inside you dissolved, relief washing over you.

“Thank you,” you murmured, closing your fist around his hair and gently tugging it. N squeezed your thighs, nuzzling into your stomach.

“I love you too, Nixe,” he declared, everything about his tone sure. You could feel a soft smile pull on your lips, the words warming you to the core.

“Hakyeon…” you murmured, tugging his head back slightly. He looked up at you with warm eyes. You leaned down and kissed him, deep and slow. It was as if you’d been set to a slow boil, the passion on N’s lips warming you up further. Nothing sounded better at that moment than getting lost in him, of illustrating your feelings with tender touches.

Your name breathily tumbled from his lips when you tugged his head back. He sat back, bending to your tugs, and you lowered down to straddle his lap. Bringing your hands to his cheeks in a mimic of his earlier actions, you kissed him again. His arms slid up to your waist, and he pulled you flush against him. You smiled, breaking the kiss.

“Should we continue in bed?” you proposed. N moaned in approval, words failing him and his original intent to shower long forgotten. It seemed like neither of you would be satisfied until you were joined and simmering together.


End file.
